Two Second Solutions

Two Second Solutions

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  • Ranking Marketing Buzzwords by How Much I Want to Yeet Them Into the Sun

    Ranking Marketing Buzzwords by How Much I Want to Yeet Them Into the Sun

    July 10, 2025
    Ken’s Corner of Concern, Stuff I Was Allowed to Post

    by Ken Hollow, marketing burnout survivor and professional buzzword assassin Look, I love marketing as much as the next exhausted digital marketer who can’t tell if they’re doing content strategy or performing an interpretive dance for the algorithm. But there’s one thing that’s been chipping away at my sanity since approximately my third Zoom call…

  • Why SEO Advice Online Is Either Useless or Written by Satan

    Why SEO Advice Online Is Either Useless or Written by Satan

    July 9, 2025
    Stuff I Was Allowed to Post

    by Ken Hollow, ranking #157 for the keyword “despair” Let me set the scene: it’s 2:37AM. I’m hunched over my laptop in a bathrobe that hasn’t known joy (or detergent) in weeks, staring at Google Search Console like it’s about to personally apologize to me. Spoiler: it doesn’t. I’m on page 9 for keywords I…

  • I Googled My Headache and Now I Have 14 Hours to Live

    I Googled My Headache and Now I Have 14 Hours to Live

    July 8, 2025
    Burnout Diaries, Fox-Free Zone, Ken’s Corner of Concern

    By Ken Hollow, professional overthinker with 99 problems and at least 73 of them are imaginary It started, as these things often do, with a slight twinge behind my right eye. Not a stab, not a throb, just a… presence. A ghost of discomfort. A whisper of doom. Naturally, I did what any rational, modern…

  • AI Took My Job (And Then Asked for a Raise)

    AI Took My Job (And Then Asked for a Raise)

    July 7, 2025
    Burnout Diaries, Fox-Free Zone, Ken’s Corner of Concern

    by Ken Hollow, unemployed by choice (but mostly by algorithm) Let me tell you about the moment I knew my career was over: it was when the AI I hired to help me write blog posts sent me an invoice. It was polite. Well-formatted. Had a little dancing robot emoji in the signature. “Thanks for…

  • Why Everyone Suddenly Wants to ‘Touch Grass’ (And Why I’m Still Inside)

    Why Everyone Suddenly Wants to ‘Touch Grass’ (And Why I’m Still Inside)

    July 6, 2025
    Burnout Diaries, Ken’s Corner of Concern

    By Ken Hollow, Professional Indoorsman & Existential Botanophobe There’s a phrase echoing through the cursed halls of the internet lately: “Go touch grass.” It used to be a petty insult. Now it’s practically a wellness doctrine. Influencers are out here sipping moss smoothies in hammocks and posting sunrise photos captioned “healing.” Meanwhile, I’m still under…

  • I Tried Living Like a Digital Nomad for a Day (And It Broke Me)

    I Tried Living Like a Digital Nomad for a Day (And It Broke Me)

    July 5, 2025
    Burnout Diaries, Fox-Free Zone, Stuff I Was Allowed to Post

    By Ken Hollow, aspiring lifestyle blogger, accidental disaster tourist. It all started with a tweet. “Quit your job, move to Bali, work from your laptop, and watch your life transform.” That’s what the blue checkmark said. And who am I to argue with a guy whose profile pic is a drone shot of him on…

  • Being Perceived Online Is Exhausting (But I Keep Doing It Anyway)

    Being Perceived Online Is Exhausting (But I Keep Doing It Anyway)

    July 4, 2025
    Burnout Diaries

    By Ken Hollow, professional ghost on LinkedIn and full-time internet burnout. Every morning I wake up, open my eyes, and immediately remember that I exist on the internet. It’s like clockwork: a deeply unfortunate Pavlovian response to the buzz of my phone lighting up with the notification that someone commented, “🔥 mommy” on a post…

  • Parasocial Relationships: Why I Feel Closer to VTubers Than My Actual Friends

    Parasocial Relationships: Why I Feel Closer to VTubers Than My Actual Friends

    July 3, 2025
    Ken’s Corner of Concern

    By Ken Hollow, professional fox spirit babysitter, and part-time parasocial wreck. There was a moment last week when I realized something was… off. I had just spent forty-five minutes watching a VTuber debate whether cereal is a soup, and I found myself nodding, laughing, and even commenting, “so true bestie” like I was in a…

  • Blogging in 2025: What Still Works (Besides Crying)

    Blogging in 2025: What Still Works (Besides Crying)

    July 2, 2025
    Burnout Diaries, Stuff I Was Allowed to Post

    By Ken Hollow, your favorite digital disaster turned full-time blog exorcist. There was a time when blogging felt like the internet’s quaint little hobby. Write a thing, post the thing, wait for applause. Simple. Pure. Chaotic-good. Then Google found out. Then AI showed up. And now in 2025, blogging feels less like publishing your thoughts…

  • How to Build a Personal Brand Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Wi-Fi)

    How to Build a Personal Brand Without Losing Your Mind (Or Your Wi-Fi)

    July 1, 2025
    Burnout Diaries, Stuff I Was Allowed to Post

    By Ken Hollow, who definitely has a brand. (It’s chaos.) There comes a time in every burnt-out marketer’s life when someone says the fateful words: “You should build a personal brand.“ And instead of running into the sea, I took the bait. Fast-forward to today: I manage a digital fox spirit influencer who thinks mood…

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Two Second Solutions

Two Second Solutions

Two Second Solutions is a creative narrative brand used for fictional and entertainment purposes.

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