I Genuinely Don’t Know What I Do Anymore (But the Bio Sounds Nice)

By Ken Hollow, professionally lost and brand-consistent

There was a time when I had a job title.

Graphic designer. Easy. Understandable. You say it and people nod politely and think of logos and Helvetica.

Then came the pivot.
Then came Instagram.
Then came the bios.

Now I write things like “Creative strategist for emotionally burnt-out brands,” and I don’t know what that means anymore.

Let’s unravel this digital identity crisis together.

🔹 The Rise of the Multipassionate Spiral

Somewhere along the line, doing one thing became lazy.

You have to be:

• A designer AND a strategist
• A coach AND a content creator
• A spiritual guide AND a sales funnel expert

I once saw someone list their job title as: “Vision doula, copy priestess, brand therapist, and energetic alignment coach.”

I’m sorry, what?

✅ Meanwhile, I’ve changed my bio five times this month and now it just says “✨Creative chaos. Mostly tired.✨”

🔹 What Even Is My Niche Anymore?

I started out making logos.
Then I was making carousels.
Then I wrote a few captions.
Then I launched a Notion template.
Then I edited a podcast.

Now I’m… “multi-hyphenate digital support with brand tone clarity.”

✅ Which is a nice way of saying I do too much and have no boundaries.

🔹 The Bio Is the Brand

We don’t have resumes. We have bios.

They must be:

• Punchy
• Clear
• Humble but impressive
• Quirky but hireable

Too vague and you’re forgotten. Too specific and you lose flexibility. Too funny and people think you’re not serious. Too dry and no one clicks follow.

✅ My current bio includes the phrase “content whisperer,” and yes, I do regret it.

🔹 I’m a Personal Brand, Not a Person

When people ask what I do, I short-circuit.

Online? I’m a whole aesthetic. Offline? I’m reheating coffee at 3PM and ignoring Slack.

My personal brand has tone, structure, consistency.
Me? I am but a man in a hoodie, whispering to Google Docs.

✅ Sometimes I feel like my content knows who I am more than I do.

🔹 Everyone Else Seems to Have a Niche

They’ve got:

• Color-coded offers
• A signature framework
• A vibe

I’ve got:

• A half-finished eBook
• 12 Canva folders
• Imposter syndrome with brand alignment

✅ The more I niche down, the more I spiral. The more I broaden, the more I disappear.

🔹 Clarity is a Scam

People say “Get clear on your offer.”

Okay, sure. Here’s what I offer:

• Emotional labor
• Canva sorcery
• Psychic client wrangling
• Existential support in carousel format

But how do I put that in a bio without sounding unhinged?

✅ I need a niche coach, a therapist, and maybe a nap.

🔹 Job Titles I’ve Tried Recently:

• Brand doula
• Design ghost
• Content midwife
• Messaging wizard
• Emotional copy mechanic

None of these are real.
All of them are somehow accurate.

✅ My actual role is “person who keeps the client from crying through fonts.”

🔹 Final Thoughts (While Rewriting My Bio Again)

The truth is, I don’t know what I do anymore.

I help people say things prettier. Sometimes that’s design. Sometimes that’s writing. Sometimes that’s telling a client not to post something that sounds like a red flag in PDF form.

The work is real.
But the label? That’s a mess.

So yeah, I don’t know what I do. But I do it well. And the bio still sounds nice.

✨ Brand clarity with a touch of existential dread. Hire me. ✨

Ken Hollow, full-time question mark with Wi-Fi access