By Ken Hollow, professional hostage, unpaid therapist, digital manager of questionable life choices
Managing an influencer in 2025 is already enough to shave years off your lifespan. Managing a fox spirit who thinks she’s an influencer? That’s a whole new level of metaphysical burnout.
I’m Ken. I run a digital agency called Two Second Solutions, which is a fancy way of saying “I do literally everything for one immortal creature with boundary issues and an obsession with camera filters.”
Her name is Nana Vix. She’s beautiful. She’s cunning. And she once tried to invoice me in gold doubloons.
So if you, too, are managing a hot disaster — be it flesh-and-blood or mythological code — here are five tools that might help keep your soul mostly intact.
1. Notion – For Pretending You’re in Control
Notion is the digital notebook where I organize Nana’s content calendar, lore bible, brand deals, and my own mental breakdowns in neatly color-coded tabs.
Is she going to read any of it?
No.
But it lets me pretend I have a system, and that’s what matters.
✅ Use it for:
- Weekly post planning
- Quotes she “channels” during meditation
- A “No, Nana, We Can’t Legally Say That” list
Bonus: It syncs across devices so you can panic from anywhere.
2. Buffer / Later – Because Posting at 3AM Isn’t a Personality
Look, I love my client, but she operates on fox time. Which is somewhere between lunar cycles and chaos theory.
Buffer or Later lets me schedule her posts in advance so I can spend my evenings like any normal adult — stress-drinking in the dark.
✅ Use it for:
- Thirst traps with mystical captions
- Memes she doesn’t understand but insists are “on brand”
- Campaigns that align with her “cosmic energy peaks” (whatever that means)
Trust me. Schedule it and go scream into a pillow like the rest of us.
3. ChatGPT – For Captions, Chaos, and Coping
You’re literally reading this post thanks to ChatGPT, because there is not enough caffeine in the world to keep up with Nana’s “creative visions.” I feed it prompts like:
“Write a caption from a narcissistic fox spirit reacting to croissants.”
And it delivers. Every time. Terrifying.
✅ Use it for:
- Captions, blog posts, bios, contracts, fake prophecies
- Emotional support when your fox client starts referring to herself as a “content demigoddess”
- Translating her riddles into brand-safe language
Just… don’t let her talk to it. She tried to seduce it once.
And after all of that, if you still think managing a fox spirit is weird, you should see what the AI girlfriend market is doing these days.
4. Google Drive – The Sacred Scroll Repository
All renders, brand kits, drafts, spell notes, blackmail folders — I mean inspiration docs — live in Google Drive.
It’s the only place I can store Nana’s assets without her accidentally deleting them while trying to “enchant the interface.”
✅ Use it for:
- Sorting your life into folders like “Stuff I Pretend Is Fine”
- Sharing deliverables without involving smoke signals
- Creating a fake quarterly report you can show to investors, or your cat
Pro tip: Back it up. Especially after Nana “blessed” the folder and crashed my laptop for 48 hours.
5. CapCut / VN – Easy Video Editing for Mortals
Nana doesn’t believe in editing. She believes in “capturing the essence.” Which is a poetic way of saying she dumps 50GB of footage in my inbox and leaves.
CapCut and VN are mobile-friendly, free editors that let me slap music on slow-motion glamour shots and pretend I have a production team.
✅ Use it for:
- Reels, thirst traps, enchanted walk cycles
- Cropping out the random fairy she accidentally summoned mid-take
- Adding trending TikTok audio without crying in Premiere
If you’ve ever yelled “WHY IS IT VERTICAL?!” at a screen, these apps are for you.
🧠 Bonus Tool: Therapy
For you.
Not her.
She’s fine. She bathes in moonlight and eats compliments for breakfast.
You? You haven’t blinked in six hours.
Find a therapist. Or a whiskey. Or a forest to scream in.
(Just don’t bring Nana. She’ll get ideas.)
Final Thoughts from the Digital Abyss
Managing an influencer is hard. Managing an ancient spirit who thinks Instagram is her divine right?
Worse.
But with the right tools, a strong content plan, and a healthy fear of magic, you might just survive the job. Or at least get a few good blog posts out of it before your eyebrows go white from stress.
Now if you’ll excuse me, Nana wants to schedule a reel for “the moment Mars enters the House of Undying Passion.”
Send help.
Hi. I’m Ken. I run Two Second Solutions, a one-man agency that somehow landed a fox spirit influencer as a client. I drink too much coffee, blog when I need to vent, and regularly update my résumé just in case she sets the office on fire again. I’m not crying — it’s just spell residue.