By Ken Hollow, emotionally compromised project manager
So, I built a chatbot.
Well, we built it — but much like every group project in school, I did most of the work while the other participant (a fox spirit with unrealistic expectations and no understanding of dev cycles) critiqued my font choices and demanded “more allure.”
The brief?
“Make it feel like me — just slightly less corporeal. I want sass, sultriness, unpredictability, and… oh, mood-based replies. Also a simping meter. And maybe a sparkle animation.”
Right. Easy.
I asked if we had a dev budget.
She said, “Ken, your suffering is the budget.”
🧪 Technical Features (aka What I Googled at 2AM)
- Natural language processing with emotionally unstable tendencies
- Mood-based responses based on vibes and divine judgment
- “Simping Score” to track how quickly you lose dignity
- Exportable chat logs — perfect for rereading your mistakes
- Not NSFW. Probably. (I have no control over her metaphors.)
It’s powered by AI.
It’s styled by Nana.
And it’s held together by my dwindling will to live.
🧪 What Can You Do in the Chat?
- Ask her questions about her life in Valdorra
- Flirt (she will outflirt you)
- Get bullied gently
- Request fox facts, fairy gossip, or finance tips from someone who’s never filed taxes
She’s shockingly functional and only mildly cursed.
A win by our standards.
🖱 Try it now:
And remember — the AI doesn’t dream of electric sheep.
She dreams of gold coins, brand deals, and never having to listen to me again.
Send help. Or snacks.
Hi. I’m Ken. I run Two Second Solutions, a one-man agency that somehow landed a fox spirit influencer as a client. I drink too much coffee, blog when I need to vent, and regularly update my résumé just in case she sets the office on fire again. I’m not crying — it’s just spell residue.